Not Quite Insanity
by Cronomon
Summary: If you could bring one thing with you to a deserted island, what would it be? Too bad Class 3-A didn't take the question seriously enough. Now they'll just have to survive on crepes and a severe lack of Negi. Involves randomness and yuri.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Negima! Magister Negi Magi.**

**Randomness, yuri, hopefully OOC moments later on when everyone starts going insane. **

* * *

"Okay, look, I know when I answered the stupid 'if you could bring one thing with you to a deserted island what would it be' question I wasn't taking it seriously... but can I please try again?"

Asuna waited expectantly. No response.

"Oh, come on, don't be so stingy! None of us gave real answers to it! You can't have expected us to know you were actually gonna put us on a deserted island!"

Still no answer.

"Grr... fine! Be that way! And see if I'll help you out when you need it!"

"Asuna, who are you talking to?" Konoka approached her friend, Setsuna not too far behind. She followed Asuna's gaze up into the sky, and then looked at her again. "There's nothing up there."

Asuna growled. "Who do you think? The person who decided it'd be so freaking hilarious to drop us onto a freaking deserted island with conveniently the one thing we all said we would bring if we were ever taken to one!"

"No one put us here, though," Konoka pointed out. "We just kind of... you know, arrived. Which is pretty weird, actually."

"In any case, everyone else is having a meeting over there," Setsuna took over. "Don't you think it'd be better if we joined?"

"Hmph. Fine." Asuna agreed, but as she followed the two to the rest of the class, she glared threateningly at the sky, mouthing, _I'm watching you._

Yeah, the sky had better watch out. Hell hath no fury like Asuna scorned, after all.

/~/~/

"Alright, let's go over our situation," Haruna declared. With her notebook and pencil in hand, she listed, "We're stranded on a deserted island with one item each, no Professor Negi, and our Pactio Cards are all gone. There's a jungle over there but scary noises come out of it. We have no water, food, or means of communication. Chachamaru and Eva just ditched us and flew off to who-knows-where. Asuna's screaming at the sky. Anything else?"

Chisame raised her hand. "Yeah, how about, we're totally screwed."

"No one appreciates a pessimist, Chisame. Others?"

"Hey, I was wondering, why is Sayo here?" Yuna asked. "And uh... why can we see her?"

Everyone looked at the ghost in question. Sayo merely shrugged in return. She didn't have an explanation for why she was with them on a deserted island when in reality she should be trapped on the school grounds.

Haruna rolled her eyes. "She's our classmate, of course she's here. Incase you haven't noticed, the entire class is with us. Minus Eva and Chachamaru. Excluding Sayo would be mean."

"No, that's not really what I meant..." Yuna decided to drop it anyways.

"What I want to know is why Haruna's up there talking instead of Ayaka," Misora spoke up. A lazy smile on her face, she pointed out, "Isn't she our class rep?"

"She's too busy freaking out over where Negi is," Madoka shrugged with a glance at the blonde girl in the distance. "Not much we can do about that. Anyways, shouldn't our main priority right now be, oh, I don't know, _surviving_?"

A thoughtful silence followed her statement. As in, everyone went silent because they were thinking. Hm. Survival. That sure sounded nice. Especially considering out here in the open without their magic half of them wouldn't even last a day.

"The logical thing to do would be to divide into groups," Setsuna said as she joined the rest of her class. Konoka and Asuna stood on either side of her, the latter still looking grumpy about being interrupted from her rant. "One group looks for fresh water, another for food, and another builds shelter. We can think about everything else after we've accomplished those basics."

No one could really argue with that plan. So, after several minutes of deciding which group to be in, the class split up with the agreement of meeting back at the initial place once all their missions were completed.

/~/~/

Casting her eye on the group, Haruna smirked. "So this is our building crew, huh?"

"Hey, don't say it like that," Chao frowned. "You've got a genius here. You should be thanking me for deciding to stay behind!"

"You know, this has been bugging me for a while now... what're you doing here?" Satomi next to her asked. "I thought you went off to the future. We even went through all that trouble just so you could. And now you're back?"

Chao made a face. "You could sound a bit happier that your partner-in-crime has returned, you know. At least Ku Fei is glad to see me." She gestured at the Chinese girl who was practically attached at her hip and then shot a smug look at her fellow scientist and stuck out her tongue.

"Yeah, real mature, Chao. And you still haven't answered my question."

"Before that," Chisame interrupted, "does anyone even know _how_ to build a shelter?"

Silence and blank looks.

Chisame facepalmed. "Yeah. We're screwed."

"What did I tell you about pessimism, Chisame?" Haruna scolded. "It can't be all too different from drawing one, after all. Here, look." She shoved a beautifully drawn picture of a wooden hut into the other girl's face. "Now build it."

"What? You expect me to build this-?"

"I COMMAND YOU TO BUILD IT."

Chao bounced over. "It looks simple enough. All I need are some tools and wood." She looked around, sizing up each of her classmates within the group before settling on one. Or two. "Narutaki twins!"

Fuka and Fumika, who had been off building sand castles or maybe making out, snapped to attention. "Yes, sir!"

"Find me some hammers, saws, cement blocks, planks of wood, shovels, meat buns, ladders, and anything else useful that you can find!"

"Roger!"

As the twins scrambled off, Chao glanced over at Chisame triumphantly. "Never underestimate a genius," she said in pride.

"We are on a deserted island." Chisame paused to see if that had properly registered in everyone's minds. Just in case it hadn't, she repeated, "A _deserted island_."

"That we are, aru," Ku Fei nodded sagely.

Chisame facepalmed again. "Never mind. Where's Asuna? She's part of this group, too, isn't she?"

"Over there yelling at the sky again," Satomi pointed over to the orange-haired girl jumping up and down at the edge of the water.

"And Ayaka?"

"Still crying over Negi."

"Oh my god I'm the only sane one."

Haruna, Chao, and Satomi all glared at her. Misa would have but she was sleeping or tanning or something on the sand.

"I resent that," Chao said.

"Deal with it."

/~/~/

"Kazumi, don't you think flashing your camera like that is a little dangerous?" Ako said, eyeing the reporter warily. "You might attract some wild animals or something, you know?"

"Well, yeah, but if I don't take pictures what am I supposed to show to the press when we get back?" Kazumi pointed out without even looking away from the surrounding nature. She snapped several more pictures, nodding in satisfaction as she went over them on her camera.

Misora laughed, hands placed leisurely behind her head as she walked. "I love your optimism. But hey, why is Sayo coming with us? It's not like she needs food or water, right?"

"That doesn't mean I can't help you guys look for it," the ghost said indignantly.

"Misora, I was wondering, too," Kazumi finally looked up from her camera to glance over at the part-time nun. "Where's your little loli? I mean, I know she's not part of our class but she's always around you, isn't she?"

"Eh? The way you phrase that makes me sound like a lolicon!"

There was a pointed look from everybody else in the group.

"You guys suck."

"Can you all please stop fooling around and actually try looking for water?" Setsuna, at the head of the group, spoke up impatiently. "If we can't find a creek or something there's no way any of us will be able to survive the next couple of days. And I refuse to allow Miss Konoka to die."

Konoka smiled. "Aw, thanks, Setsuna!"

No one else seemed particularly amused. Except for Kazumi who took a picture of the now-blushing swordsman.

"I... did not mean it like that," Setsuna said.

"Oh, please don't mind us," Chizuru waved a hand. "We'll move on to find some water. In the meantime you feel free to give in to your inner desires and take Konoka behind a tree and undress her a little bit and give her a little taste of your-."

"Chizuru!" Natsumi cut her off, her face almost as red as Setsuna's.

"I can sense water," Akira declared abruptly.

Ignoring everyone else, she proceeded on. Misora stared after her and then looked at Ako. Ako shrugged and followed. With nothing better to do, the rest all went after her, Setsuna in particular looking very happy with the change of subject, until it was just Kazumi and Sayo trailing behind due to the reporter starting up her picture-taking again.

"Setsuna looked really embarrassed by that just now," Sayo said.

"Yeah..." Kazumi seemed strangely distracted by a particular tree, as she snapped several pictures of it. She glanced over at the ghost. "You wanna try it out?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

/~/~/

"Yay, we found it!"

Madoka quickly held out an arm to keep her fellow cheerleader from running over to the desired item. "I don't know... it seems kind of sketchy."

Sakurako pouted, turning puppy-dog eyes to the brown-haired girl. "But it's a crepe stand. What's sketchy about it?"

"The fact that it's in the middle of a jungle?" Mana offered dryly.

"And how it's running itself without workers," Kaede added. "That seems pretty creepy to me."

Yuna rolled her eyes, waving a hand dismissively. "Come on, you guys, it's obviously just magic or something. There're fresh crepes right there and it's not as though we can go back without any food."

"It's the 'or something' part that's worrying, though," Yue pointed out. After sipping some more from her juice box, she continued, "It could be ghost food or poison for all we know."

"Oh, in that case we should just let Sakurako eat it and find out," Makie suggested cheerfully. "I mean, she's got luck on her side so it's not like she'll die, right?"

Sakurako bounced up and down. "Yeah, that's right! I can totally try it out!"

"Epic!"

"No." Madoka, Mana, and Yue said flatly.

The two deflated. "Aw..."

"Well it's not as though we can just stand around and stare at it," Yuna said impatiently. "Either we eat them or we move on. Hey, Librarian, what do you think? Can we take the crepes or not?"

Nodoka gave a start at suddenly being dragged into the conversation. "Um... generally I don't think it's a good idea to eat food that makes itself..."

"Then I guess we'll have to look somewhere else," Kaede said, already turning to walk away.

Sakurako made a face, pointedly staying behind when everyone else began to follow the ninja. "I don't get why I'm not allowed to taste test it but Zazie is. That's totally not fair."

"... Zazie's what?"

A second glance at the stand showed that, indeed, the white-haired jester was calmly snacking on a strawberry crepe and watching the birds in the trees as though nothing was wrong in the world. Upon finishing her crepe, Zazie reached for a banana one that had just finished making itself and proceeded to eat that one as well.

The group stared incredulously.

"She's not dead yet," Makie observed.

"Zazie might just be the bravest person I know," Satsuki whispered in awe.

Mana just rolled her eyes. "Or the weirdest."

"In any case there don't seem to be any immediate side effects," Yue said, approaching Zazie and the crepe stand. "Might as well take them."

/~/~/

"Master."

"What?"

"Are you sure you don't want to return to the rest of the class?"

Evangeline groaned. "Not again. How many times have I told you, we're not going back to them!"

"But I don't think we'll be doing much better without them."

The vampire pointedly ignored her companion, instead stomping on the chunk of ice she was standing on and making a dissatisfied noise.

"Master."

"Now what?"

"I still have enough fuel to make it back to the island."

"Chachamaru, let me make this very clear to you, I would rather die on this stupid piece of ice than go groveling back to my classmates, is that understood?"

"... yes, Master."

A pause.

"Master."

"Grr..."

"I estimate that by tomorrow afternoon the ice will have completely melted."

"..."

"Perhaps our escapade should have been better planned for the situation that I would be unable to make it to the nearest country. Such as this situation."

"We didn't plan it at all! We just left!"

"Exactly." Another pause. "As I said, I still have enough fuel to make it back to the island."

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

**Honorifics confuse me so I just went with the English dub version of everyone calling each other by their first names. **

**Thanks for reading and please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

"CHAMO THIS IS TERRIBLE WHAT'RE WE GOING TO DO?"

"Alright, alright, bro, calm down. Freaking out isn't gonna get us anywhere, you know."

"How can I possibly calm down in a situation like this? My students are gone! They've disappeared!"

"Okay, let's think this through calmly. When was the last time you saw them?"

"The same time you last saw them! Five minutes ago!"

"Okay, and what were they doing?"

"You were there! They were in class like they always are!"

"And then what happened?"

"And then they disappeared."

"Out of nowhere?"

"Out of nowhere."

"Hm... alright, let's go find Eva, then. She'll probably know what to do."

"Oh, you're right, Master's never in class so she most likely hasn't disappeared. Let's go, Chamo!"

/~/~/

"Never fear, the genius has a solution!"

Asuna leaned forward. "She's wearing a labcoat, she must know the answer!"

Chao nodded wisely, a large smile on her face as the rest of the class turned their attention towards her. "That is very true. I am wearing a labcoat. Now bow before me and hail me as your leader!"

"Is that our solution?" Fumika tilted her head in confusion.

"It better not be," Chisame growled.

"Now! As I'm sure you're all aware, we are on a deserted island," Chao announced.

"NO FREAKING SHIT."

"Shut up, Chisame. Anyways. We are on a deserted island. This is very much reminiscent to the world-acclaimed documentary on how to survive if you and your classmates have been spontaneously dumped onto a deserted island that I'm sure many of us have already watched. I am, of course, referring to _Battle Royale_. Now-."

"That was the most traumatizing thing I'd ever seen in my life," Akira said solemnly.

Ako nodded, eyes wide in fear as though she were reliving that movie night. "I couldn't sleep for weeks! Please don't remind me of it, Chao..."

"Wait, did you just call it a documentary?" Satomi looked at her fellow scientist incredulously.

"I did. I'm sure many of us can learn a thing or two from it-."

"So we should all kill each other," Yuna concluded.

All eyes immediately turned to Mana, who was nonchalantly cleaning her rifle. She continued to nonchalantly clean her rifle.

Chao scowled. "No, I'm not saying we should _kill _each other. Yet."

"I don't want to die!" Nodoka squeaked in protest.

"I just said we weren't gonna kill each other!"

"Yet," Haruna added unhelpfully.

"Okay, fine, we're not gonna kill each other ever," Chao rolled her eyes, waiting for the commotion to die down. "Happy? Okay. Now, as I was saying-."

"Wait, that'd be a huge scoop!" Kazumi interrupted, holding up her ever-present camera. "'Driven by fear and confusion, the students of 3-A turn to the one thing they know will mean survival- the death of their classmates'. I'm getting excited just thinking about it!"

"Kazumi, there is something very wrong with your head," Chao said bluntly. "So does anyone else have something they'd like to say or can I actually go on continuously with my survival strategy?"

Silence from the crowd. Save for the munching of crepes.

"Alright. So. After much interpretation from the parts of the movie that I still remember, I-."

"Let's all learn to be ninjas!"

"... Fuka, you did that on purpose, didn't you?"

The older twin grinned shamelessly.

"Can we just go on with the survival thing? I'd like to learn how to, you know, not die and stuff," Yue said.

"I bet you would," Chao sighed. "Anymore obnoxious interruptions? No? Okay, good. So the number one thing that should be at the top of your priority list if you're on a deserted island with all your classmates is-."

"Eat them all!"

"God, will someone shut that kid up!"

Fumika obliged. After two seconds it was clear Fuka would not be interrupting again for a very long time.

"... The number one thing to do is-."

"Kill them before they kill you! Come on, I'm telling you, I can make a great story out of this!"

"... The number one thing-."

"Do you think Professor Negi has noticed we're gone yet?"

"... The number one-."

"Can we go back and get more crepes? I'm still hungry-."

"Okay, you know what, you guys? Fuck it. You can figure it out yourselves."

/~/~/

"EVANGELINE IS GONE TOO!"

"Hm, okay, this is starting to get a little worrying."

"It's been worrying since the start! What should we do? Ah, maybe we can go find Takamichi!"

"Hey, you're right! If anyone'll know the answer it's him."

"Alright then, off we go!"

/~/~/

"I have found... a book!" Kazumi declared, holding up a giant novel in her hand.

Her companions leaned forward in awe. Nodoka made to respond but was cut off by Sayo.

"It's huge!" the ghost said.

"That has to be longer than some manga series," Kaede realized.

Asuna shook her head. "Who would want to read a book that big, anyway?" Taking it from the reporter, she flipped through it with a grimace. "There're so many words. Look, I don't even understand half of them. What the heck is... polygyny?"

Nodoka opened her mouth to say something.

"Something only boring people read about!" Asuna answered her own question, ignoring the purple-haired girl. "Boring, useless, smart people with nothing better to do in their free time. I mean, seriously, who in their right mind would even look at this? Not someone with a life."

"... I would," Nodoka half-heartedly reached out to take her book back.

Kaede grabbed it instead, turning to the inside cover. Sure enough, in the librarian's own handwriting, there was Nodoka's name.

"So you would, de gozaru," the ninja agreed before handing it back to Nodoka.

"..." the timid girl responded.

"..." Asuna said.

"..." Sayo felt the situation had taken a turn for the worst.

Kazumi snapped a picture. "Awkward for you, Asuna~"

/~/~/

"Hey everyone~ Guess what? Chiu-Chiu's stuck on a deserted island with all her classmates! Oh no~! And get this! Every day we'll be eating crepes and sleeping under the stars because our building crew was completely useless! Please cheer Chiu-Chiu on~~~!"

Chizuru blinked at the performance. "You can get internet on that thing?"

"Gah! Hey, at least tell me when you're watching!"

"That's wonderful," Chizuru smiled. "Would you let me check my email when you're done?"

"As if there's any connection on this place. I'm just recording it for when we get back."

"Oh my, I didn't realize that you could become so optimistic in only a few hours. You're a great person, aren't you, Chiu?"

"It's really just something to keep me sane here- what did you just call me?"

Chizuru smiled again. Chisame glared. An imaginary bolt of lightning struck between the two of them, as observed by Makie in the distance. Being who she was, basically "a dense idiot" but that would have been rude to say, she ignored the animosity and happily joined.

"Hey, we're going swimming, you guys wanna come along?" Makie offered. "A lot of the other girls already said yes."

"Pass," Chisame grumbled, turning back to her computer.

"Swimming? That sounds fun," Chizuru accepted the offer and followed the other girl to the area where everyone else was.

Chisame simply continued typing away, ignoring the fact that she wasn't actually doing anything since there was no internet connection. "It's getting dark out, anyways. Who'd want to swim at night?"

/~/~/

Several of the girls were already playing in the water when Makie and Chizuru returned. Most likely wearing their clothes (since they didn't have their swimsuits with them) they splashed each other in joy, momentarily forgetting that they were stranded.

"Oh, sunshine and water and sparkles!" Ako laughed as she cupped the ocean water in her hands.

"It's kind of dark right now but whatever you say," Yuna splashed her in response.

It was a wonderful time of peace and relaxation, especially after the day's events. Kaede napped peacefully on the shore, Mana continued cleaning her rifle (since it wasn't as shiny as she liked it yet), Zazie just kind of sat there with a blank look on her face, and Natsumi, Satsuki, Haruna, Nodoka, and Yue were building sand castles and other stuff you did on a beach. Ku Fei and Chao were sparring while the cheerleaders and Satomi watched. Kazumi was taking pictures of everyone while Sayo followed because she had nothing better to do.

Everyone else was in the water. Asuna, who'd finally forgotten about the sky, was continuously teasing Ayaka, who'd finally gotten over Negi. Konoka was dragging the somewhat-hesitant, heavily-blushing Setsuna around. The twins and Misora were swimming all over the place and bugging the sports girls. Yes, all was well and everyone was having fun.

Until the bloodcurdling shriek sounded.

"I'M HIT! I'M HIT!"

"Holy crap, Ako, are you okay?"

The school nurse was quickly dragged out of the water and all the girls crowded around to see what was wrong. Several purple dots were clustered on her leg, looking very much like a star constellation.

"You look deceased," Misora said.

Ayaka leaned forward worriedly. "Are you alright? What happened?"

Ako was whimpering as she looked at her leg, which Akira was quickly wiping clean with her sleeve. "I- I think a sea urchin got me."

"A sea urchin?" Kazumi repeated as she snapped a picture

"Let's eat it!" Ku Fei declared, jabbing a finger in the sea's direction.

"My aunt got stabbed by a sea urchin once," Yuna said thoughtfully. "She couldn't walk for six months afterwards."

"So? What are you supposed to do when you get stabbed by a sea urchin?" Natsumi glanced over at Nodoka, who froze immediately at the attention.

"I... I guess you'd try to take the spikes out, right?"

Fuka leaned up close, observing the purple dots. "There aren't any spikes, though." She looked up at the others questioningly. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" she asked.

"I'd assume it's a good thing if spikes aren't sticking out of her leg," Satomi pointed out.

"So then what're the purple dots?" Misa asked, only looking vaguely disgusted by the sight.

Sakurako raised her hand. "Maybe it's poison!" she suggested. "Poison is purple, isn't it?"

"I guess so," Haruna said.

"Awesome!"

"Wait, that'd be terrible!" Akira objected. "We don't have any medicine for poison."

"Kaede, don't ninjas have special poison antidotes or something like that?" Fumika looked up at the taller girl.

Kaede scratched her head. "Of course, but I doubt I can find any of the necessary ingredients in a place like this."

"Well, we did find a crepe stand here," Madoka reminded. "I wouldn't count it off too quickly."

"Hm... hey, Ako, is your leg feeling numb right now?" Konoka questioned.

Looking very pale from her classmates' words, Ako swallowed and replied, "It's more of a dull pain, I guess."

"If you start to lose feeling just tell us," Mana said. "It'd be best to cut your leg right off before the poison can spread."

Long pause.

Setsuna drew her sword. "Have you lost feeling yet?"

"What? You can't just cut my leg off like that!"

"Well, it is for your own safety, Ako," Yue decided. "It'd be pretty bad if the poison spread to the rest of your body and killed you."

"We don't even know it's poison! Sakurako just said it was!"

"In any case we have to take precautionary measures. Setsuna," Mana nodded at the swordsman, who raised her sword and angled it at Ako's purple-spotted leg.

"Alright, Ako. Here goes."

"W-WAIT! THIS ISN'T FUNNY! HEY!"

/~/~/

"Hey, Chao, you're a genius, aren't you?"

"The best on the island!"

"So shouldn't you know what to do about a sea urchin attack?"

"Pssh. Earth problems."

"... well, they're kind of trying to cut Ako's leg off over there."

"I think we can leave it in the hands of my good assistant Satomi. She'll be able to handle the situation as if I was there myself!"

"But it's like ten feet away from you! Can't you just walk over there?"

"Silence, you are disturbing my concentration."

"I cannot believe that while your own classmates are turning on each other you are here sparring with Ku Fei like nothing's wrong in the world."

"Says the girl waving her laptop around trying to get a connection."

"Hahaha! Chisame, you look really funny dancing around like that!"

"Oh, shut up, you two! Forget it, I'm leaving."

/~/~/

"Honestly, I don't really care that I'm floating around on an iceberg with only you for company," Evangeline stated quite suddenly.

Chachamaru blinked. "Is that so?"

"Yes, it is so. This part isn't that bad. The part that makes it bad is that you don't have any fuel and I can't use my magic for some goddamn reason that no one will bother to tell me!"

"Perhaps that is because there is no one around us, Master."

"I've noticed!"

"That's wonderful, Master. It means you are not yet showing signs of insanity."

"Well, whoop-dee-freaking-doo. I'm not insane." Evangeline rolled her eyes. "Although I suppose I can't say the same for my idiot classmates, now can I? I assume Asuna would have been the first to go.'

"If you'd like I can carry you back to the island and we can have a look ourselves."

"Absolutely not! Not until that is our very last resort, and even then I might say no!"

"Understood, Master."

"It'd better be."

"It is."

"Good."

* * *

**Not that funny, I know, but bear with me. For now I'm just spewing out randomness. More randomness will come soon.**


	3. Chapter 3

"Kneel before me and beg!"

"All hail the Great and Amazing Super Genius Chao!" the group of girls chanted.

Chao nodded seriously. "Now, if you all promise to be good little minions and do everything I say, I _might_ consider finally allowing you to hear my super awesome plan of survival." She glared at them. "Do you promise?"

Makie, Yuna, and Ako bobbed their heads up and down rapidly. Akira wondered why she was still here.

"Excellent." Energized by her newfound power, Chao looked around to see if there was any pointless chore she could assign the sports girls. "Run around the island twenty times and then make me a smoothie."

"Sir, yes sir!" Makie, Yuna, and Ako ran off eagerly.

Akira stared.

Chao smiled and shrugged.

/~/~/

"Isn't there anything else to eat on this island?" Madoka said. "I'm sick of crepes."

"They're making me fat!" Misa whined in agreement.

Sakurako glanced up from her fifth crepe of the day, looking very much confused by her friends' complaints. "Really...?" she questioned.

The other two cheerleaders nodded miserably.

"But Misa," Sakurako said seriously, "you're not fat."

The purple-haired girl blinked, stunned by her friend's sincerity, and then smiled. Holding out her arms for a hug, she said, "Aw, that's so sweet of you to say-."

"Compared to a sumo wrestler you're thin as a stick."

/~/~/

"So I think we should try to build some houses," Setsuna said.

"I think we already tried that," Chizuru said. "It didn't seem to work out very well."

Chisame said, "Correction: a few idiots tried that. If it's us we can manage."

"That's right!" Konoka agreed cheerfully. "Any pizza is a personal pizza so long as you try hard and believe in yourself!"

The other girls wisely chose to ignore this.

"First we need wood... probably," Setsuna said, immediately taking on the role of leader. "And tools. Chisame, you're in charge of those."

"What? Why me?"

"Misora, help her out."

"Whatever you say."

"Chizuru, you and Natsumi find ingredients for real food and get the stuff to Satsuki later on."

"Roger that~"

"Somehow this feels like the first chapter all over again," Asuna muttered.

/~/~/

"Kazumi, the girls are resorting to desperate measures!" the ghost reported with a confident salute.

"A perfect scoop!" Kazumi declared. "Good work, Sayo. Now go get me some more information!"

"Roger!"

"Actually, hang on a sec!"

Sayo stopped in her tracks and glanced at the reporter questioningly.

Kazumi's arms were folded against her chest as she stared down her friend in as serious a manner as she could. "Have I ever told you how much platonic love I have for you?" she asked.

"... I don't think so."

"Good, because that would be a complete lie."

"... what?"

"Now go off into the world and bring me more news!"

/~/~/

"I'm not saying that you guys _shouldn't_ love each other," Kaede said carefully. "I just think that you should remain more... innocent, de gozaru."

"Innocent?" Fumika echoed.

"Whaddya mean?" Fuka asked.

Kaede paused, thinking over how she should respond.

"Well, simply put... you two are maidens right now, yes?"

"Yeah," the twins nodded.

"I think it should stay that way, de gozaru." Pause. "You do know what maidens are?"

"Virgins."

"Exactly."

Kaede decided not to question how bluntly her disciples had answered her.

/~/~/

"I won't last much longer," Yuna gasped, grasping at the sand and dragging herself forward. "Just... go on without me."

"Yuna!" Makie's eyes filled with tears. "I can't! I won't! You have to stay strong! We're almost there!"

She tried to help her friend up, but Yuna just pushed her away, rolling on to her back and panting dramatically. "Live on, Makie," the sharpshooter whispered. "For me."

"Yuna!" Makie wailed.

A few meters away, Chao examined Ako, who seemed to be in perfect shape despite the twenty laps she'd just performed. "Not bad for someone with a poisoned leg," the genius said approvingly.

Ako rubbed the back of her head with a cheerful laugh. "Please don't bring that up again, Chao. I was terrified for my life."

"Good. You, my friend, have earned the right to learning about my secret survival strategy."

"But what about Yuna!" Makie protested, popping up beside the assistant nurse. "She... she fought so hard! It's not fair that she's not here with us right now!"

"Isn't that because you left her lying over there?" Akira said.

Makie ignored her. "You should tell Yuna, too!"

Chao looked at her incredulously. "Are you an idiot?"

"Baka Pink has no rival," Ako replied.

"She only deserves as much," the gymnast insisted.

"... Fine." Chao relented. She walked over to the fallen athlete and stared down. When Yuna didn't respond, Chao kicked her.

"Ow..." Yuna opened her eyes, squinting against the bright sunlight. Barely making out Chao's figure, she mumbled, "Who... are you?"

"It doesn't matter who I am," Chao said. "What matters is that you're a complete failure." She then kicked her again and returned to where the remaining sports girls stood. "Harsh, yeah?" she grinned. "Now how about that smoothie?"

/~/~/

"What the hell? These tools suck!"

Misora frowned. "Well, damn, bro, you didn't do much better."

Chisame ignored this as she picked up a stick with a rock hastily tied onto it. "Is this supposed to be a hammer?"

"Just like Thor's," her classmate confirmed.

"No. Not just like Thor's." Chisame dropped the stick. "Forget about it. How about the wood for building?"

"... It was for _building_?" Misora glanced none-too-subtly at the pile of rotten wood she'd collected and then back at Chisame with a sheepish grin. "Right, so I don't think we'll be getting cold tonight."

"I hate my life."

* * *

**Apologies for the late and short chapter. **


End file.
